Lunar Embrace
by MyForbiddenDestiny
Summary: If I am the moon and you, a mere human, then ... I'm not supposed to touch you, I'm not supposed to talk to you, and I'm not supposed to be with you ... But I can't stop myself from loving you ... So for you, I'll tread through the countless hours of day.
1. But I Love You

**To anyone who is wondering why the freak I am uploading this:**

**WRITER'S BLOCK. That is the main reason. To those of you who I owe a dedication, I have writer's block for those stories. Writer's block for Needing Support (I've actually got the whole story planned out but ...)**

**THIS IS MY FREE CHOICE UPLOAD!! First was supposed to be the Romance/Angst, then the Romance/Hurt Comfort, and somewhere in the middle a oneshot. BUT I'VE DECIDED I WANT TO DO THIS ONE FIRST. This took soooooo long to write! But I finished it weeks ago and only had to type it. **

**This actually changed quite a bit, from Rima's emotions being controlled by ___ to her actually being ___. Teehee (but I guess you already know what that means because of the summary T_T). I don't own Shugo Chara! Anyways … enjoy:  
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**Lunar Embrace**

But I Love You

I thought of the memory again, the one I dare not forget.

--

_What is it about this useless waste of money that appeals to countless numbers of human girls? What is so interesting about this 'shoujo manga'. How can these cliché characters actually attract one another? I asked myself this once again._

_And then answered myself once again._

_I thought bluntly for a moment. Of course. It's obvious isn't it? They fell in love with each other because they were so alike._

_I laughed humorlessly and looked up at myself, looked up at the moon._

_Waning. No wonder my thoughts held such a bitter edge to them. _

_I continued to stare up at the sliver of light in the sky … until I was disturbed._

_Down beneath the tree I was sitting upon was a boy who looked to be about seven. The same age I chose to look today._

_He had long violet hair that flowed gently in the midnight breeze, and skin pale white in the light of the moon. His hair was tied up elegantly, while wearing a beautiful, lavender kimono. Breathtaking. Simply breathtaking. Perhaps he was not a boy, though I was quite certain he was._

_But there was something wrong. Sobs that were nearly silent emanated from the small child. I was immediately alarmed by the scene below me._

_I leaned forward on the branch uncomfortably, as if to help him. My movement made a soft rustling sound among the leaves and I froze nervously. His quiet keens ceased for a moment, as he slowly tilted his head to look at me._

_I was completely mesmerized by his curious ochre gaze and found that I was not able to turn away. His eyes, so feminine, were like liquid honey, livid and sweet._

"_Who are you?" he asked, his voice coming out smooth and melodious.  
_

* * *

It was one of my most cherished memories, more significant than when I'd met Amu, Tadase, Kukai or Yaya. Those memories seemed meaningless compared to the one of _her_.

It was a dark night. I was only seven at the time, and was practicing my dance.

--

_I received praises this time, something that so rarely happened._

"_My, isn't the young master talented?" commented one of my mother's friends._

"_Yes," she told the woman, "I am very proud."_

_I stared at her, shocked. That was a lie! My mother was always disappointed in me!_

"_But it's such a shame," said a man, as he gestured towards me, shaking his head, "he'll never be able to dance like a real girl."_

_And at this, many other people joined in on discussing my many flaws until they all finally left._

_I waited for my mother's dismissal patiently._

"_You may leave," she said as she walked away with her tea, and I replied, "Yes," quietly as I bowed and began to leave._

"But_," she continued, as I halted in my steps, "you must come home quickly from school tomorrow. You have extra practice," she said firmly._

"_Y-yes, mother," I said, and left, before the tears that were threatening to fall had the chance._

_I slammed the door behind me as I ran on the streets, not bothering to change out of my 'Nadeshiko' disguise._

_I'd known it. _Mother would never be proud of me. That was against her nature_, I thought bitterly._

_I ran and ran until I found that cherry blossom tree that seemed to be there for me whenever I needed it the most. I cried and cried, I didn't care if I was a boy, or that I was in a deserted park in the middle of the night. So I continued. I let the tears fall over and over._

_There was a soft sound in the tree above me and I looked up. I was vulnerable and unprotected, but I continued to cry, nonetheless._

_There, was something, or _someone_, I'd never seen before._

_Sitting delicately on a thin tree branch was a dazzling girl with soft, golden hair. She was the most beautiful thing I'd ever seen. With her beauty, I was beginning to question if she really _was_ human. She looked about my age … but she seemed so mature … _

_She wore a pale blue dress made of no material I'd ever seen. Velvet? Silk? No. It was somehow greater, somehow grander._

_Perhaps it was light. Her whole being seemed to be forged from light._

"_Who are you?" I asked once more, my voice as quiet as possible, as not to startle this girl that looked as fragile as if she'd been turned to ice._

_Without answering my question, she asked one of her own. Her voice was a high soprano, though not shrill in any way. My _own_ voice sounded harsh compared to hers.  
_

* * *

"_Why is there water in your eyes?" I asked, truly disturbed by the soundless drops that continued to cascade down his fair face. He blinked for a moment, and touched his cheeks in wonder, as he realized, or remembered. Red stained his face, rather embarrassed, apparently._

"_Tears," he replied, his face still pink. I stared at him blankly._

"_Tears?" I replied in a questioning tone, "What are tears?"_

_He blinked again. Confused, I assume._

"_I've been crying. That's what happens when you cry. Tears leak out of your eyes," he explained._

_I still did not understand so I asked, "Why are you crying?"_

_He looked at me strangely, before lowering his eyes._

"_Because I'm sad," he whispered, more 'tears' falling._

_What did I do?_

_I jumped nimbly off the branch to sit beside him, raising my hands helplessly._

_It was forbidden to speak to him, let alone touch him._

_But, of course, I didn't care._

_I put my hands lightly on his shoulders and he looked up, fists still balled up at his eyes._

"_I-I'm sorry," I murmured, perplexed. He seemed to recognize the genuine apology on my nearly emotionless face, for he smiled, a sad smile, and embraced me.  
__  
I was so surprised by his sudden action that I fell over onto the ground in complete shock. Only a moment after my back hit the ground, the mysterious boy's hands thudded heavily on either side of my face, his lips connecting to mine, as I was once again lost in his beautiful golden eyes.  
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She was so _pretty_. Her face, snow white in the moon's rays, showed the first expressions in the short time I'd been with her. Shock. Surprise. But I knew that wasn't true. She had shown emotions, traces in her eyes and features. But they were just traces, nothing more, as if she had lived for too long, and that such things were beyond her, as if such things were useless._

_And … I remembered my position on top of her._

_I quickly scrambled off and sat back, blushing. Her lips had been so soft …_

"_I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry!" I exclaimed repeatedly, "I didn't mean to do that, I swear!"_

_She looked up at me for a moment after she sat up, tilting her head to the side curiously. I wasn't too sure if I'd seen a light tinge of pink on her cheeks._

"_No … it's okay, really, it was my fault …" she muttered._

_We sat there awkwardly and silently for a while, until I suddenly thought of something._

"_Hey!" I started excitedly, "what's your name? I'm Fujisaki Nagihiko. Oh! And I'm a boy," I added, blushing again._

_She looked rather disturbed by the question for a moment, and looked down. I was quite sure that I saw a small tear stream down her face, but for all I knew, it could have been my eyes playing tricks on me.  
_

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* * *

_

I might have been turning into one of those pathetic manga girls. I hoped that he hadn't seen the blood rush to my face, although I wasn't sure why I cared so much.

_I'd been pondering that thought as he asked me for my name and gave his own. He'd been so carefree._

_I was taken aback by the question. It wasn't really something I'd thought about before._

_And for some reason, I didn't think I could lie to this boy named 'Nagihiko', with his astonishingly perceptive stare._

"_I-I don't know," I answered him honestly, "but humans call me 'the Moon'."_

_He cringed from me as he gazed into my eyes, almost fearfully._

_Seeing an expression on my face, probably of betrayal, he moved closer again._

"_Y-you're the Moon?" he asked, an incredulous look on his face, "Really?" I nodded. It hadn't seemed so significant to me._

_And he seemed to remember something._

"_You don't know your name?" he asked, and I shook my head. I felt a little healed somehow as he recovered from his previous disbelief. But I didn't know why. Why my emotions were being stretched, magnetized, _shattered_ …_

"_How about Rima?" he inquired, "Mashiro Rima."_

"_Ma … shiro Rima?" I repeated slowly, "Why Mashiro Rima?"_

_He seemed about to answer my question until he stopped himself abruptly, blushing wildly._

_Nagihiko looked down, his face bright red, "Well … you know … it's a nice name, smooth you know … it's got a nice flow …" he mumbled, trailing off incoherently._

_I laughed at him, this beautiful boy, and stopped myself. I touched my mouth. Laughter?_

"_Y-you laughed! You laughed!" he stuttered, his eyes wide._

"_Y-yes," I answered, seeming more confused than he, light red still lingering on his cheeks.  
_

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* * *

_

_She laughed! She laughed at me! I didn't even care if she laughed at me. Because she laughed!_

I made her laugh_, I thought ecstatically._

_The thought seemed to overwhelm me with happiness._

_All my previous embarrassment seemed to lift, disappear, as she smiled softly, the beautiful sound of her laugh still ringing in my mind, swarming with various thoughts._

_I was embarrassed for a rather ridiculous reason. I hadn't chosen the name 'Mashiro Rima' just because it sounded nice, although that wasn't a lie. It was honestly the name that I imagined my partner would have when I grew up. I wanted a wife with the name 'Mashiro Rima', and I wasn't sure why. I mean, it _does _sound nice when you think about about it._

"_Mashiro Rima, then," she said quietly, smiling, "that's my name. Mashiro Rima."_

_I held out my hand jokingly._

"_Hi, my name's Nagihiko! What's yours?" _

"_I'm Rima," she replied, shaking my hand as she laughed again._

"_Hi, Rima-chan!" I continued, laughing as well._

_We continued to talk about nothing in particular, my get-up, a conversation at which I'd blushed many times, and how it worked, how she was the Moon. That was the last conversation we'd had._

"_So, how does it work?" I'd asked. She'd had an almost identical reaction to my question about her name._

"_I don't know. I don't know where I come from, or why I'm in the world at all. I don't do much at night or in the morning. It's a rather continuous thing that I do, _whatever_ it is that I do."_

"_What are you talking about?" I'd yelled fiercely, and she'd flinched a little, "You provide guidance and light when it's dark!" She'd looked solemn after my exclamation, a dark expression on her face._

"_My 'light' doesn't do much with helping countless rapes and murders lessen. In fact, most people are killed at night."_

"_That's not your fault! You do what you can. It's not your fault that there are vile people in this world. And," I'd blushed, "you help me a lot."_

_She'd given me an intense, intimidating stare, and I stared back, however red my face might have been._

"_I … help you?" she'd asked._

"_I look at the Moon … y-you, when I'm sad, and you cheer me up. I-I need you." It sounded a bit like a confession, but it may have been for all I knew. I loved the Moon … and I think I loved her too._

"_Th-thank you, Nagihiko." And at that, she started to fade. I was immediately alert and aware._

"_What's happening?" I asked, panicking._

_She chuckled, a sad sound._

"_I'm the Moon, remember?" she gave a shaky laugh, "It's almost morning."_

"_Then … will I ever see you again?" I asked, tears beginning to fall down my face, but she gave an obvious answer._

"_Of course, but only in the sky. You can't try and find me. I'm not allowed to interact with humans. You're the first one I've ever met," she added. I wasn't sure if she'd started to cry, or if it was just the light of the Sun starting to pour onto her face._

_I was starting to get angry. _

"_Who decided that?!" And she answered with what seemed to be the answer to my most important questions._

"_I don't know."_

_She smiled, just as I said, "Wait!" I reached out to her, but she was already gone. My hand dropped and I sank to the ground._

"_But … I love you."  
_

* * *

He'd had the most tortured expression on his face when I'd disappeared, and I didn't know why.

It's been nine years from that day. Nine years without seeing him.

But in those nine years, I realized that I loved him. When I left him there that day, a hole was formed in my cold heart that had never felt anything before. I loved him and I always would.

So this is what love feels like. It was such a painful thought, from which nothing would ever be born. But I knew it was something inevitable, something irrational.

I fought it then, and still fight it now,

_the urge to go and look for him_.

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How was it? The first chapter … sigh. It's so nostalgic, since I wrote this a few weeks ago. DUE TO STUPID EXAMS.

**If you're interested: I wrote a Rimahiko one-shot in honor of Rima's birthday! I wrote a Bleach one-shot (pairing is Ulquihime)**

**Anyways, please follow this series! I think 5-10 chapters. With this kind of a serious story, it's hard to make fillers, if you know what I mean.**

**Click the green button that, should not be shiny, but is ALREADY shiny in my eyes.**


	2. That Day

**WAHAHAHA! Lololol so how long has it been since I updated ... ANY OF MY STORIES? (haha don't answer that seriously). Anyways, to all of you reading this right now, thanks for sticking with me and I have no idea when I will update next.**

**I wrote about 1000 words of this maybe a year ago so ... Actually, I realized that I've gotten worse at writing since then but who the beep cares? I've lost all interest in Shugo Chara, sorry to say. The only reason I'm still writing is because I freaking love this plot.**

**You might wanna read the first chapter again, I made some references to it.**

**I'd be surprised if half my reviewers still read fanfiction ...**

**Reminder again- horizontal rulers are a change in POV, and the chapter starts with Rima's.**

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**Lunar Embrace**

That Night

Seeing nothing in particular, I thought again of the boy who I so dearly loved. Without uttering a sound, I stared at the deep purple shadows and the white, almost blue, tints of the pink petals of the cherry blossom tree on which I sat, the light of the Moon casting a soft silvery glow upon them. A gentle winter breeze rustled the leaves, flowers and branches of the great, gnarled tree, and the occasional call of a bird disturbed the peaceful night's silence. Together, the sounds of nature formed a mysterious melody, emanating the feeling of only sad and empty loneliness.

Night was not the same as day. Admittedly, I fit nowhere in the day. But the night was like a painting, a canvas. It was where I belonged like a light or guidance, just as the enigmatic boy named Nagihiko had said.

How old was he now? I let out a forlorn chuckle, for the moment the only sound in the night air, echoing out like a cry of pain. Of course I knew how old he was. If he was seven years young back then, then as of now, he would be approximately sixteen.

As I chose to be today. From the day, or rather night, that I met him, I'd been matching my age with his. It made me feel strangely connected to him, our only similarity, I realized. With a sad smile, I thought of how I would soon have to stop performing these actions. If I did not, the Moon would wither, would dull, and would in a sense, die.

And who had told me this? Who had decided this? It seemed that these were the questions that clouded my minds these past nine years. Because Nagihiko had asked them.

He seemed to make me realize all the flaws that I possessed because his beauty glared at me like the shining Sun. Bright, amazing, extravagant, and enthusiastic. And what I had, whatever it was that I had, almost dulled at his presence.

Like how the world dimmed when all I could bestow upon it by night was such a feeble light.

It saddened me, that I was unable to grasp the fact that I would never see the violet-haired boy again. Why was it that I was always given what I didn't want, and could never have what I most desired? It irked me. I laughed again and sighed. What a child I am.

The Moon was only a tiny sliver today, but it was waxing, and soon, it would be the First Quarter, and finally, the Full Moon, and then waning again, and then gone. It was a never-ending, unbearable cycle that I had to endure forever.

I couldn't remember what happened yesterday, though.

It had been a New Moon. I was temporarily out of sight, not obscured but shrouded in darkness. And, like so many times before, I realized again that if not for the Sun, I would be useless. Did the Sun ever feel cut off or alone, as I found that I always was? Was the Sun even like myself at all? Did it even have a conscience? A mind? A soul? A heart?

_Do I?_

But I was convinced I did, without having any solid evidence. I felt grateful for the night, I yearned for the day, and most of all, I loved Nagihiko. Was that not proof enough?

I remembered bitterly that the Sun would never feel as I do. Why would it? It had everything I didn't have. It emitted its own light, it watched over the busy hours of day, whereas I was denied such a gracious privilege, given only dark nights. But the night was dazzling in its own way, as well. Pale green grass shimmering with moist dew, creamy white clouds moving lazily yet purposefully in the sky, and forest animals free to roam the world. The night was _alive_.

There was a sudden disturbance below: soft footsteps, the cracking of a twig, and rocks clattering against the pavement. I immediately thought of Nagihiko, and how the evening we had met, something similar to this had happened. But then I chuckled again. That was impossible. Or so I thought, only until I had caught sight of a streak of purple shoot past.

* * *

I paused in my steps as I heard a familiar sound, though it was much sadder than I had ever remembered it. After another moment of standing still, I dismissed it as my imagination and continued running toward my destination.

The basketball court was deserted and silent, but was soon filled with the bouncing of a ball, my even breathing, and the elegant thuds of my runners on the concrete. Almost immediately, the feeling of exhilaration and euphoria uplifted within me and I felt genuinely happy.

It might have been minutes, hours, or even days until I stopped, gasping for air with my head between my knees upon the floor. It'd been another fruitless day at school again. We learned what I already knew and I followed my daily routine: Wake up, walk to school, attend classes, have lunch, attend classes again, and walk back home to, of course, practice dance for an agonizing three consecutive hours. And, obviously, I'd done 'horribly' as I always did and had to repeat the same dance for another few hours or so until, finally, my mother allowed me to rest, allowed me to have the obligatory sleep I needed to function, or in her mind, dance. But here I was, despite everything.

After an eternity of running, dribbling, shooting, jumping, and sweating I finally dropped down and placed my head between my knees, breathing rapidly. All was quiet. The shrill shrieks of my mother, the ringing of the school bell—none of it could be heard here. This was a sort of paradise—my paradise.

_This is the night_, I told myself. _This is where I'm meant to be._

"I love the night."

Tears splattered onto the rough ground beneath me. This crying was different from nine years ago. Clutching my head slightly, echoing sobs emanated from somewhere deep within me. I laughed at myself. _What the hell am I doing? Why in freaking hell am I here?_

"I love _you_."

Somewhere behind me a whimper sounded.

Hopping to my feet with ease, I pivoted on one foot and caught the slightest glimpse of a silvery light before it vanished. Thrashing through the trees, I searched and ran, ignoring the scratches and scrapes I was receiving, and even the blood running down my body. None of it mattered. _None of it mattered._

Words got caught in my throat. _Wait! _I called in my mind over and over. Finally, the girl was in sight. Her whole, wonderful body—her golden, flowing hair, her pale, slender limbs. Everything, everything—it was all so _beautiful_.

The tips of my fingers grabbed hold of her arm and for a fleeting moment, I feared that my hand would just slip through, that nothing would be there and my mind was only giving me the hopeless possibility I so desired. But it didn't, and I was touching a solid being. _Solid_. Not solely thoughts, memories, useless pining—a real thing.

Yanking lightly, I pulled her towards me. And without knowing what I was doing, without seeing any sense in the world, I pulled her into my arms and kissed her. Her hair, her lips, her crying eyes; anything and everything was what I wanted. I held her face close to mine, caressing her cheeks, and stared, drank her appearance in.

"_Rima."_

* * *

That was all it took for me to break down completely. One word—a name. But _my _name and that made all the difference.

I cried into his chest for who knew how long. I didn't know where the endless flow of tears was coming from or when it would stop, or why I was crying in the first place.

Nagihiko pulled apart from me tentatively, grinned, and in a gentle whisper, asked the question stated so many years ago, "'Why is there water in your eyes?'"

I laughed feebly.

"'Tears. I've been crying. That's what happens when you cry. Tears leak out of your eyes.'"

"'Why are you crying?'"

"Because I'm happy," was my reply. _And because I'm sad._

I've had enough. I've had absolutely enough and_ I can't take it anymore_.

And then ... _nothing_.

* * *

I looked up and cursed the skies, cursed the light, cursed the day.

"Why the hell is the world so intent on ruining my freaking existence!" I yelled to no one in particular. And, quieter: "Is this just a cruel and pathetic repetition of what had happened that night?

"'But ... I love you.'"

Swearing, I stood and ran to the pipe under my bedroom window, and began to climb. Yet another day of routine, scheduled high school to prepare for.

"Hey, Nagi! Nagihiko! Fujisaki! Hey, Nadeshiko!" I was suddenly thrust out of a reverie, sitting in my desk in the classroom. It was a blur how I'd gotten there.

"What do you want, Kukai?" I answered weakly, slouching over onto the desk.

He looked deep in thought for a moment and, smiling slyly, looked out the window, balancing a pencil on his lip.

"You wouldn't happen ... to be in love, would you?" he asked, holding back a smirk.

I sat up straight so fast that I was knocked out of my chair. Blushing, I retorted, "What makes you think that, idiot!"

He looked surprised and everything about his seemed to be on end from his flyaway hair to his unkempt uniform. Gaining composure, he wolf-whistled. "Would you imagine the day," he began, "when someone would come along and be able to make _the_ Nagihiko Fujisaki _blush_."

My face only turned redder by the second. "Shut up, Kukai!" I exclaimed, punching him in the arm.

He held up his hands defensively and muttered, "Just saying, just saying," before turning back to his desk. Just as I thought he'd given up, he swivelled his seat towards me and grinned, resting his chin on two hands. "So what's she like?"

I stared at him, disbelieving and had a sudden idea. "All right ... but you won't believe me."

Kukai raised one eyebrow challengingly. "Try me."

"She's the moon."

"What do you mean she's the—"

I cut him off. "Told you you wouldn't believe me."

He paused, looking thoughtful. "Do you really mean it?"

"Of course," I said calmly, "I wouldn't lie about something like this."

"Then I believe you," Kukai replied immediately. "I'd trust you with my life."

"Ku—" A girl walked past me and I was silent.

I murmured inaudibly, staring at a spot just to the right of his head.

"You're going to have to speak up, Nagi."

My mouth opened and closed like a fish's. I managed to mouth two words.

"_That's her."_

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**WOOT DUDE OH YEAH MHMM.**

**Lol so that was less than 2000 words and that makes me sad but who the beep cares, because I freaking don't.**

**So ... bye.**

**Oh yeah, all the guardians are the same age ... I guess (the only reason being that I love Kukai with Nagi)**

**Review?**


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